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Bout Me...:
i am Riri. this is my page. only i run it. i am saying this merely so Namida-Kun doesn't come in here and fuck it up. that cool? heh heh. anyway. i am a feminist, a Gothic Lolita fanatic, anime otaku, a preppy Emo, and an all around lunatic. i don't update very often, but i amm a queen on ff.net. oh, and we can't forget i'm a yaoi pervert! so anyway.
On the Page...:
my own poems, stories, fanfictions and opinions. not to mention tips for the other goth lolis and eye candy for the yaoi fangirls. heh heh.
alright, peace! enjoy!
--- Flowers ---
flowers, soft, dead, absolute, wilting. god, i bleed when i cry. i cry when i bleed. cause i'm hurt and i need...! need...to want... it consumes me. that suffocating scent of flowers. dry end petals. rough at at the tips. sitting alone, eating my dreams. i bleed and i feel... and now i feel a gnawing, eating,feeding it's gluttenous self with my soul. it's choking me, holding me under oil...lighting a match. that horribly sweet scent of flowers. you're watching me burn. watching me bleed. bleed cause i need and i want, and i want. but there's nothing left for me. my soft sweet dead flowers. you suffocate me.
TEN STEPS TO GOOD GURO LOLI!
alright. i will admit i'm no expert, and these tips aren't too detailed, but they will help!
1: don't over do the blood. you want to look ingured, not like you just came from a battle field.
2: some good places to put bandages are around the head, if it's lossened and dips into your face, it looks like you've been through some damage (always a plus), your arms, maybe a sling, and around your eye. really easy places for beginners.
3: if you're going to do blood splatter, a nurse outfit sends a really creepy message. also, do red on white. a white dress is perfect for blood.
4: make sure to ruffle your hair a little bit. if your hair was perfect and the rest of you was beat up, what would that say?
5: props are great, like crutches, teddy bears, porcelaine dolls (dressed to match with you of course), pins and needles, and silver crosses, and knives. of course, your bandages are musts. a headdress always finishes the look off nicely.
6: if you need help deciding what kind of dress you should go for, look at actual 18th centuary dressed, they help!
7: themes are good to help get you started, examples: fallen angels, vampires, broken doll.
8: remember to act as if you're actually beat up (especially if you're at a convention, it adds depth) it's always fun to be a live doll.
9: sweet guro loli (as i have dubbed it) sends a very creepy message. a bloody knife, a sweet lolita dress, some blood splatter and a deranged smile, you'll lok perfect!
10: always remember that you can find guro/ goth/ elegant loli in everything! a simple black blouse, a silver cross and an eyepatch is easy to wear every where!
have fun!
hee! my cute little...oki, it's not that cute. it was a doodle in paint! so shut up now... Hichi x Ichi by Riri-Sama
like cutting myself to feel
that pain i almost recognize
like staring at my heart in a glass
i see it
that hateful smile
like wanting the love of anyone
i strive for a place
like cutting myself where no one sees
can you see it?
that hateful smile
defying
like a tingle of tears
my glass in a tear
my heart in a glass
who am i?
cry for this reason
like the feeling of silk
smooth and useless
like cutting myself in the corners
like waiting in the dark....
i'm waiting...
---Stretched Angel---
pretty face
wrapped in lace
innocent wings
pulled out wide
well you could have been perfect
you could if you tried
now look at your wings
pulled out wide
hurting and straining
your face wet with tears
this is your punishment
and the result of your tears
you could have been perfect
but look what you've done?
you went and saved a child.
you went and picked up more then one.
you tried to justify it
but it cannot be erased
pretty face.
smothered with lace.
owari
a long time ago
i'd tell you this was me
now i'm too blind
now i can't see
now the people are watching
but i don't care for their words
a long time ago
i would still be a person
but somehow i've become lost
i've fled with the birds
and with my sore wings
and my blind eyes
i to be someone
but i can't see why
i want to see it
i want to free it
i have to deal with it
like the fate of man
exploring a depth of wretchedness
a long time ago
i was a person
a long time ago
i was blind
now i'm both
i'm blind but i'm expecting
soon i won't need sight anyway.
OWARI
--- a child hood kalidescope---
i hadn't been here in so long, i'd almost forgotten. that wonder when the breeze hit my face, and seein all the old shops, feeling all the old feelings. i hadn't been here in so ong, i'd missed it without knowing. i was a smart and sucsessful woman of thirty-five. with a couple of children, who i let run down the street and gaze at the toys in the shop window. i hadn't been to this town in so long, but now i remembered what happy meant. i decided to heck with it. i might as well come down for a visit. it was the anniversary of my mother's death. and though it choked me up when i thought of her, i didn't let her death stop my happiness. i was alive. that was enough to make me smile. i was a live to be a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a good person, a business owner. i was alive. i let my children into the toy store, and spotted something tucked away on a shelf, with care, but still much unlike the other toys. a small kalidescope, which seemed very familiar, even though it wasn't. 'what's this mommy?' my little boy asked me when he caught me looking at it. i smiled at him. 'hold it to the light and turn the end. see what happens' i smiled alittle brighter and his innocent look of wonder. i wish he would stay that way forever. i didn't want his eyes to lose that gleam. but that would come later. i could enjoy the here and now, when they were both vying my attention. 'you look too mommy' and then i suddenly remembered, the same way i had suddenly remembered happiness. i took the toy from chubby hands, held it to the shop window. thank you mom. thank you very much, i whispered to myself, as i turned the end and watch the colors swirl, just like my mood. just like my childhood.
owari.
can't see it can you?
she's always telling you
always warning with quiet smiles
always shouting it
but you never see it
she tries and fails
under stands she can't prevail
she wishes you would see
but what does it matter to me?
her world's a shade of gray
she wishes all the pain would simply fade away
she's gives into temptation
cuts one more time
she's addicted to love
but she can't have mine
photo of the tree out side my house sometime around christmas. i love photography
